Why Don't I Do the Things I Know Are Good for Me? (Original)

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Why Don't I Do the Things I Know Are Good for Me? (Original)

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  • 製本 Paperback:紙装版/ペーパーバック版/ページ数 253 p.
  • 言語 ENG
  • 商品コード 9780425219652
  • DDC分類 158.1

Table of Contents

Introduction                                       xv
The Gap Between What I Know And What I Do
Section I. Why? 1 (44)
Why Don't I Do What I Know Is Good For Me?
Immediate relief from stress or pain is 5 (5)
often more compelling than our rational
self-interest
Childhood conditioning keeps us trapped; 10 (5)
low or erratic self-esteem plagues us
Good self-care is not fun, interesting, 15 (3)
engaging, or tasty. It's boring and
bland---who wants that?
Advertising, marketing, and the media 18 (7)
undermine our self-esteem and
self-confidence
The historical/cultural role of women in 25 (8)
the world gives us second-class status,
making it difficult to feel good about
ourselves
Addictions (overeating, shopping, alcohol, 33 (7)
pills, men, work, etc.) keep us
stuck---unable to do what's good for us
Some of us suffer from depression. It's 40 (5)
hard to take good care of yourself when you
feel like sh*t
Section II. How? 45 (164)
How Can We Change Our Habits Of Self-care?
First, just notice what you do and what you 51 (3)
don't do. Don't try to change
anything---just notice
Pay attention to the words you use---in 54 (3)
self-talk and in conversations with others
Give up the struggle. Make peace with who 57 (3)
you are today
Don't let what you can't do stop you from 60 (2)
what you can do
Catch yourself doing something right (or 62 (3)
approximately right). Then pat yourself on
the back for it
Self-care doesn't mean selfish 65 (3)
Help is not a four-letter word. Get support 68 (4)
from others. No one can do it for you, but
you can't do it alone
Let go of perfectionism---it's both a cause 72 (3)
and a result of low self-esteem
Fake it 'til you make it. Act as if you 75 (3)
value yourself, even when you don't feel
like it
What would radical self-care look like for 78 (3)
you right now?
Make a gratitude list and build from there. 81 (4)
What you focus on is what you'll get more of
Clear away negative emotions: worry, fear, 85 (3)
anxiety, regret, pessimism
Don't ``should'' on yourself. Drop the 88 (3)
words ``should'' and ``ought'' from your
vocabulary
Go to bed half an hour earlier. Self-care 91 (3)
begins with the basics
Look for women who have what you want and 94 (3)
learn from them
Practice esteem-able acts 97 (2)
Lighten up and laugh . . . a lot 99 (2)
Go on a media fast. Be very careful what 101(4)
you put in your head
Stop playing the comparison game 105(3)
Draw on spiritual resources to assist you 108(2)
Adopt a flexible notion of self-care; allow 110(2)
it to change over time
Ask your friends what they love about you 112(3)
Practice using affirmations to retrain your 115(4)
thinking and your attitude
Make self-care into a game. Make it fun, 119(3)
engaging, interesting
Do something physical today. Anything. Get 122(3)
your body moving
Resting is not ``doing nothing.'' 125(2)
Forgive people who have hurt you. Forgiving 127(3)
them frees you
Balance your checkbook 130(3)
It's not what you're eating---it's what's 133(4)
eating you
Give up the need to be liked by everyone 137(4)
Never pass up an opportunity to pee 141(2)
Ask yourself, ``What's the best use of my 143(3)
time right now?''
Clean out one drawer or one closet 146(3)
Make appointments with yourself 149(3)
Honor your feelings, but don't be a slave 152(3)
to them
Don't go to a dry well for water. Seek out 155(3)
the right people to support you in caring
for yourself
Put your credit cards in a jar of water and 158(3)
freeze them
Wash a window or two in your home or 161(3)
apartment
Write down everything you spend this week. 164(3)
Yes, every single penny
Meditate for at least five minutes each day 167(4)
Buy yourself some fresh-cut flowers 171(2)
Seek forgiveness from people you've hurt or 173(3)
harmed. Make amends
Take care of your car 176(3)
Buy or make a first aid kit 179(4)
Tell yourself the truth about the men in 183(4)
your life
Acknowledge all the different ways you 187(3)
avoid doing the things you know are good
for you
If you, or someone you love, is struggling 190(4)
with an addiction, find a local support
group
Make a God box 194(4)
Do what you love 198(2)
Enroll in a personal development class 200(3)
Use the phrase ``Up until now . . .'' to 203(3)
create openings for change
Own your accomplishments. Enjoy the ``new 206(3)
you'' you're becoming
Section III. What? 209(40)
What Brings About Successful, Long-term,
Personal Change?
Learn how your mind works, then put it to 213(8)
work for your highest and best good
Study how people bring about positive 221(8)
changes in their lives
Coax yourself through the ``I don't wanna'' 229(5)
feelings
Pay attention to the power of your words 234(6)
Stick with the winners. Surround yourself 240(4)
with the right people
Teach others how to do the things they know 244(5)
are good for them
Conclusion 249
Closing The Gap