Description
Navigate reproductive health systems with confidence and get the care you’ve always deserved
We Deserve More: Why Reproductive Healthcare is Broken—And What You Can Do About It, by Nikki Sapiro Vinckier, OB/GYN PA-C, exposes the systemic failures plaguing reproductive healthcare and shows readers how to advocate for themselves with clarity and confidence. Vinckier, a nationally recognized OB/GYN Physician Assistant with over a decade of clinical experience, reproductive health creator, and founder of Take Back Trust, takes on the root causes of medical dismissal, rushed and inadequate care, and the quiet traumas that leave millions of patients feeling invisible in exam rooms across America. Written through a nonpartisan lens, this book pulls back the curtain on what’s broken in reproductive healthcare—and offers practical tools to speak up, be heard, and finally get the care you deserve.
Drawing on her extensive clinical background and advocacy work, Vinckier unpacks how flawed medical training, restrictive insurance policies, relentless time pressures, and systemic bias intersect to leave patients unheard and underserved. She examines everything from the routine downplaying of women’s pain to the role social media has taken on as an unofficial medical resource, while centering the lived experiences of patients dismissed, delayed, or denied care—from Black maternal health inequities to overlooked menopause symptoms and years-long waits for an endometriosis diagnosis.
- Self-advocacy tools that work in the room: Practical scripts for pushing back when your pain is minimized, step-by-step prep for visits, and strategies for documenting encounters so you can be heard and taken seriously.
- Behind-the-scenes truth of the system: A clear look at how OB/GYN training, insurance rules, and time pressure actually shape the care you receive—and why so many providers end up overlooking conditions like endometriosis, menopause, and perinatal mental health.
- Validation with evidence: Blends clinical expertise with real patient stories to confirm what so many have felt—medical gaslighting, bias, and delayed diagnoses aren’t “in your head,” they’re systemic patterns that can be named and challenged.
- Comprehensive navigation for every stage: From painful periods to fertility struggles, from respectful birth to menopause, the book offers strategies to find affirming providers, advocate for pain management, and build care that finally centers you.
This book serves women, queer people, and people with uteruses ages 18–60 who have felt dismissed, confused, or traumatized by reproductive healthcare—and are ready to demand better. It is equally essential for healthcare providers, advocates, and supporters who want to understand and address the systemic barriers shaping reproductive care.
Whether you are navigating painful periods brushed off as “normal,” searching for answers after years without a diagnosis, struggling to find real menopause care, fighting for respectful reproductive healthcare, or simply trying to be heard in the exam room, We Deserve More provides the validation, strategy, and solidarity you need to transform your healthcare experience and finally be heard.
Table of Contents
About the Author xiii
Preface xv
Introduction xix
Part One: What's Wrong with the System 1
Chapter 1: The Roots of a Broken System 3
How History Shaped the Care We Get and Why It Still Fails Us Now
Chapter 2: How the Limits of OB-GYN Training Lead to Gaps in Care 9
From What's Taught to What You Experience—How Training Gaps Become Care Gaps
Chapter 3: Missing Pieces, Missing Care 35
When Silence, Stigma, and Neglect Leave Patients "Unseen"
Chapter 4: Care Wasn't Built for Everyone 67
Some People Aren't Just Falling Through the Cracks, They've Been Failed from the Beginning
Chapter 5: The Illusion of Coverage 87
How Insurance Turns Access into an Obstacle Course
Chapter 6: Broken System, Good People 105
Not All Providers Are Bad, but They're Working in a System That Makes It Hard to be Good
Chapter 7: The Trauma We Carry In 123
When the System Doesn't See Trauma, It Risks Creating More of It
Part Two: When the System Gets Personal 149
Chapter 8: When Culture Illuminates the Failures 151
How Stories Shatter Silence, Build Community, and Push Medicine to Pay Attention
Chapter 9: Too Little Time 161
Why Short Visits Leave Patients Feeling Unseen and How to Reclaim Your Voice When the Clock Is Against You
Chapter 10: The Algorithm Will See You Now 175
How Social Media Is Shaping the Way We Seek, Share, and Trust Health Information
Chapter 11: When Your Voice Isn't Enough: Gaslighting, Bias, and Discrimination in Care 193
The Systemic Failures That Silence Patients and the Tools You Need to be Heard
Part Three: Your Body, Your Voice 207
Chapter 12: Learning Your Body and Your Needs 209
You Can't Advocate for Yourself if You've Been Taught to Ignore Your Body; Let's Change That
Chapter 13: Finding Care That Sees You 219
Because the Right Provider Doesn't Just Treat Your Body. They Respect Your Whole Self
Chapter 14: How to Get Ready, Speak Up, and Handle What Comes 235
Speaking Up Is Power; Knowing What to Do When You're Dismissed Is Protection
Chapter 15: Asking for Pain Management 245
You Shouldn't Have to Suffer Through It, but You Do Need to Ask Ahead of Time
Chapter 16: Care Beyond the Exam Room 257
Self-Care Isn't Separate from Healthcare, It's Part of It
Chapter 17: Lessons from Abroad 267
How Global Models Reveal What's Possible, and How to Bring Those Lessons Home
Chapter 18: This Isn't Extra; This Is Your Right 281
How to Take Everything You've Learned and Use It to Get the Care You Deserve
Additional Content
References 301
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