Description
Relatable stories and psychological insights on how childhood experiences shape us, and how we can reclaim ownership over our lives in the wake of trauma
Daughters who have experienced parental abuse, neglect, separation, and other traumas often find themselves in need of support later in life. (dis)Honor Thy Mother explores why our childhoods can be so haunting, and how we can build resilience through growth and healing. Through the lens of the Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs), this book presents personal stories—including the author’s own story of growing up with and learning to grow beyond her abusive mother—that bring deep psychological insights to life.
This compelling, inventive book helps readers understand their own experiences and those of others. Each chapter weaves together narrative, psychological research, and straightforward advice. The ACEs framework provides a structure for identifying and naming the types of abuse many daughters suffer, along with their associated outcomes, particularly “impostorism.” Abused daughters often turn into high-performing women who struggle with the feeling that their achievements are undeserved. In (dis) Honor Thy Mother, Dr. Bridgette Peteet unpacks this impostor phenomenon and provides resources for women who are ready to move past the past and embrace their own fundamental worth.
Drawing from academic literature, research evidence, clinical experience, and personal history, Dr. Peteet reaches recovering adult daughters, clinicians, and scholars alike.
Table of Contents
Main Character List ix
Testimony xi
Chapter 1 I’ll Beat the Black Off of You 1
Adverse Childhood Experience— Physical Abuse
Chapter 2 Some People Get Dealt All the Aces in Life 9
Categories of Adverse Childhood Experiences
Chapter 3 There’s No Place Like Home 15
Adverse Childhood Experience— Emotional or Psychological Abuse
Chapter 4 If I Was Such a Horrible Mother, How Did You Turn Out So Well? 23
Reflecting on Adverse Childhood Experiences
Chapter 5 Stop Acting Fresh 29
Adverse Childhood Experience—Sexual Abuse
Chapter 6 Look to Your Left and Your Right 39
Adverse Childhood Experiences and Environment
Chapter 7 Lessons Learned 47
Adverse Childhood Experiences and Adult Relationships
Chapter 8 You Have the Right to Remain Silent 51
Adverse Childhood Experiences and Adult Patterns
Chapter 9 Love and War 59
Adverse Childhood Experience—Domestic Violence
Chapter 10 If It Were Easy, Everyone Would Do It 63
Impostorism
Chapter 11 Rules Are Made to Be Broken … or Bent 73
Naming Adverse Childhood Experiences
Chapter 12 The Verdict 83
Adverse Childhood Experience—Household Mental Illness
Chapter 13 I’m Starting to Feel Sick Tomorrow 91
Adverse Childhood Experience—Household Substance Abuse Copyrighted Material
Chapter 14 Cardiac Arrest 99
Adverse Childhood Experience—Emotional Neglect
Chapter 15 “You Can’t Spell Families Without Lies” 111
Adverse Childhood Experiences and Religion
Chapter 16 This Girl Is on Fire 121
Psychological Minimization
Chapter 17 Close Encounter 127
Psychological Closure
Epilogue 133
Appendix 135
Acknowledgements 161
