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Full Description
Though there have been countless studies on how attachment styles affect our romantic relationships, Raising Securely Attached Kids is the first book to reframe the subject for caregivers and children.
Licensed therapist and highly sought-after attachment research expert Eli Harwood illuminates the science that explores our innate human need to bond with other humans, and helps us harness it as the only parenting approach proven to have a lasting impact. Her loyal following—fast approaching the millions—connects to Eli's accessible approach that helps everyone form secure and close relationships with their kids, which helps them develop resilience, confidence, and form close relationships in the future.
"Eli Harwood brings infectious-fun energy, vulnerability, and fresh perspectives without shaming or blaming. Not only is Raising Securely Attached Kids a practical and actionable guide, it's grounded in science and entertaining to read." —Hilary Swank, actress, storyteller, mom of twins
Hopeful and inspiring, this essential evidence-based guide shows parents, educators, and anyone with children in their lives that they are not alone in the questions and concerns they may have about raising confident, capable, and caring kids.
Covering every parenting era from new-borns to adults, Raising Securely Attached Kids teaches simple, real-life strategies that will help you:
Move past old patterns from your childhood to become the parent or caregiver you yearn to be—no matter what you went through growing up
Resolve past attachment traumas so you can offer a calm, connected, and secure base
Create a secure attachment relationship with your kids by choosing connection over control
Build and reinforce a strong foundation of trust with scripts and practical tools
Understand that it's never too late to create a stronger bond with your children
Contents
Introduction
Chapter 1: The Most Important Lesson
Author Eli Harwood sets the stage for understanding attachment in the parenting context and the mindsets necessary for a parent to cultivate a secure relationship, and how children learn whether or not they can rely on us for connection and support.
Chapter 2: Connection is the Most Powerful Form of Influence
This chapter explores the emotional side of parenting and the importance of those challenging moments when our kids are submerged deep into their feelings.
Chapter 3: They Can Feel What You Don't Heal
This chapter focuses on the ways that our unresolved traumas from the past and our dysfunctional relationships in the present affect our children and how we can heal them in order not to pass them down to our kids.
Chapter 4: Feelings are for Feeling
In a world full of so much misconception regarding emotional health, this chapter helps you build your child's emotional intelligence through mythbusting current mindsets about what it means to be emotionally healthy.
Chapter 5: Structure is Nurture's Best Friend
This chapter discusses the power of playful connection and enthusiastic delight, and empowers parents to cultivate positive interactions and explores dominance vs. connection.
Chapter 6: Secure Conflict
This chapter gets into the nitty gritty of conflict with our children and the different ways it shows up in them and us and how to take a discovery mindset instead of a fear mindset with conflict.
Chapter 7: Connection as Protection
This chapter focuses on navigating outside sources of potential harm and struggle with our children. It will help parents learn how to offer protection without sliding into fear mongering or controlling responses.
Chapter 8: The Self-Confidence Recipe
A child can only become confident in their self if they are first able to be confident in the care of others. This chapter guides parents into how to help kids feel securely adored, understood, and supported which internalizes into positive narratives about themselves.
Chapter 9: The Tricky Topics
This chapter dives into the terrain of the tricky conversations that every child needs their parents to have with them. It breaks down conversation by conversation the important things for parents to be aware of as they navigate these dialogues and how to effectively hear and be heard.
Chapter 10: Letting Go *is* Staying Close
This chapter leans into the very complex and emotional process of our children building autonomy and independence. It addresses the emotional ways we come to these moments and how to offer our children the best possible launchpad to move into new stages of independence.
Appendix
Acknowledgments
References
Index
