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Contents
Acknowledgments xv
1 Research and Theory 1
Female Socialization 2
Values- Based Paradigm 3
A Trauma- Informed Motherhood Curriculum 4
Female Socialization and Trauma 9
Women with Trauma: What Happens Next? 11
Why Focus on Mothers? 12
The Danger of "At Least ..." 13
Toxic Water and Traumatic Stigmatization 15
Healing Mothers' Trauma 15
Conscious Femininity and Conscious Motherhood 16
2 Facilitating the Amazing Moms! Program 19
Toxic Water 19
Supporting Conscious Femininity and Conscious Motherhood 21
Structure and Content of the Program 22
The Facilitator Philosophy 22
The Facilitator 25
Creating and Maintaining a Safe Container 26
Consistent Communication 26
Consistent Structure 26
The Healing Journey for Facilitators 28
Supervision and Facilitator Self- care 29
Facilitating the Program 30
Surface to Depth 32
Five Relational Postures 32
The Sessions 33
Facilitator Notes and Suggested Dialogue 34
Timing 34
Components of the Sessions 35
Check- in 35
Breathing Exercise 35
Grounding Exercise 36
Feelings/Body Check- in 36
Lectures 36
Interactive Lectures 36
Discussions/Focus Questions 37
Subgroup Discussions 37
Activities 37
Debriefing 38
Check- out 38
Assignment and Close 38
The Different Learning Styles 39
Organizational Considerations 39
Assaults on Our Bodies and Minds 40
The Workbook 40
Conclusion 41
Facilitator Survey 43
References 45
Meeting 1: Engaging the Mother Within 47
Pre- meeting Notes and Prep 47
Meeting Overview and Suggested Timing 47
Introductions - 15 minutes 48
Orientation to Program and Group Agreements - 20 minutes 49
Grounding and Relaxation Exercises - 15 minutes 52
Expectations - What Do You Want to Get Out of This Group? - 15 minutes 57
Group Discussion: What Is Motherhood? - 35 minutes 58
Commitment to Conscious Motherhood - 5 minutes 59
Check- out - 10 minutes 60
Assignments and Close - 5 minutes 61
Meeting 2: The Woman Rules 63
Pre- meeting Notes and Prep 63
Meeting Overview and Suggested Timing 63
Check- in Process - 20 minutes 64
Mini- Lecture: The Water - 10 minutes 70
Activity: The Woman Rules - 40 minutes 73
Activity: Components of Healthy Mothering - 15 minutes 79
Activity: Subgroup Discussions - 20 minutes 82
Check- out - 10 minutes 84
Assignment and Close - 5 minutes 85
The Feelings Wheel (reference for facilitators, included in participant workbook) 86
Meeting 3: Toxic Water 87
Pre- meeting Notes and Prep 87
Meeting Overview and Suggested Timing 88
Check- in - 15 minutes 88
Lecture: The Toxins in the Water - 25 minutes 90
Check- in Scale Introduction: What's Your Number? - 5 minutes 96
Small Group Discussion: The Shoes of Another - 30 minutes 97
Large Group Discussion: Cleansing the Water - 30 minutes 99
Check- out - 10 minutes 101
Assignment and Close - 5 minutes 101
Meeting 4: Cultivating an Intrapersonal Relationship of Compassion 103
Pre- meeting Notes and Prep 103
Meeting Overview and Suggested Timing 103
Check- in - 15 minutes 104
Mini Lecture 1: The Woman Rules and Internal Messages - 15 minutes 106
Mini Lecture 2: "Don'ts and Bes" in Relationships - 10 minutes 108
Small Group Discussion: Early Childhood and the Woman Rules - 25 minutes 112
Creative Activity: The Mother Inside - 35 minutes 114
Sharing of Drawings - 10 minutes 115
Check- out - 10 minutes 115
Assignment and Close - 5 minutes 116
Meeting 4.5: Assaults on Our Bodies and Minds 117
***Caveat for this Session*** 117
Pre- meeting Notes and Prep 117
Meeting Overview and Suggested Timing 118
Check- in - 15 minutes 118
Mini Lecture 1: The Woman Rules and Violations of Our Bodies - 15 minutes 121
Mini Lecture 2: Consequences of Trauma After Violations - 10 minutes 123
Subgroup Discussions: Bodily Autonomy - 25 minutes 127
Creative Activity: Reclaiming Body Autonomy - 25 minutes 129
Sharing of Drawings - 10 minutes 130
Check- out - 15 minutes 131
Assignment and Close - 5 minutes 132
Meeting 5: Moms and Trauma: Breaking the Cycle 133
Pre- meeting Notes and Prep 133
Meeting Overview and Suggested Timing 134
Check- in - 15 minutes 135
Interactive Lecture: What Is Trauma? - 30 minutes 137
Interactive Lecture: Moms and Trauma - 15 minutes 143
Activity: The Colors of Life - 25 minutes 145
Check- out - 10 minutes 146
Exercise: Five Senses Mindfulness - 10 minutes 147
Assignment and Close - 5 minutes 149
Meeting 6: Making the Connections - Mental Health, Addiction, and Trauma 151
Pre- meeting Notes and Prep 151
Meeting Overview and Suggested Timing 152
Check- in - 15 minutes 152
Lecture: Adverse Childhood Experiences - 25 minutes 155
Mini- Lecture: Mental Health and Addiction - 5 minutes 158
Subgroup Discussion: Let's Get Real - 35 minutes 161
Activity: Juggling My Life - 25 minutes 162
Check- out - 10 minutes 166
Assignment and Close - 5 minutes 167
Meeting 7: Feelings ... Nothing More Than Feelings 169
Pre- meeting Notes and Prep 169
Meeting Overview and Suggested Timing 169
Check- in - 15 minutes 170
Mini- Lecture: Women and Feelings - 5 minutes 172
Mini- Lecture: Shame - 15 minutes 174
Activity: Digging Deeper and Sharing Feelings - 50 minutes 180
Activity: A Picture of Anger - 15 minutes 182
Check- out - 15 minutes 184
Assignment and Close - 5 minutes 185
Meeting 8: Exploring Family Dynamics, Past and Present 187
Pre- meeting Notes and Prep 187
Meeting Overview and Suggested Timing 188
Check- in - 15 minutes 188
Activity: The Man Rules - 15 minutes 191
Activity: Family Sculpture - 40 minutes 193
Discussion: Debriefing the Family Sculpture - 15 minutes 199
Activity: Creating Family of Origin Collage - 15 minutes 201
Check- out - 15 minutes 202
Assignment and Close - 5 minutes 204
Meeting 9: Father of Mine 207
Pre- meeting Notes and Prep 207
Meeting Overview and Suggested Timing 208
Check- in - 10 minutes 208
Activity: Sharing Family of Origin Projects - 15 minutes 211
Activity: Identifying Expectations for Fathers - 35 minutes 212
Subgroup Discussions: Relationships with Our Fathers - 35 minutes 215
Check- out - 15 minutes 217
Assignments and Close - 10 minutes 218
Meeting 10: Mothers 221
Pre- meeting Notes and Prep 221
Meeting Overview and Suggested Timing 222
Check- in - 10 minutes 222
Activity: Reading Father Letters - 25 minutes 224
Interactive Lecture: Mother Rules and Expectations - 30 minutes 227
Subgroup Discussions: Relationships with Our Mothers - 30 minutes 231
Check- out - 15 minutes 232
Assignments and Close - 10 minutes 234
Meeting 11: Healthy Relationships: Boundaries, Communication, and Conflict 237
Pre- meeting Notes and Prep 237
Meeting Overview and Suggested Timing 238
Check- in - 10 minutes 239
Activity: Reading Letters to Mothers - 25 minutes 243
Interactive Mini Lecture: Defining Healthy and Unhealthy Boundary and Communication Styles - 15 minutes 246
Small Group Activity: Pros and Cons - 15 minutes 249
Toward a Win/Win Approach in Relationships: Moving Past the Woman Rules to Be the Moms We Want to Be - 35 minutes 251
Check- out - 15 minutes 254
Assignments and Close - 5 minutes 256
Meeting 12: Let's Talk About Sex 259
Pre- meeting Notes and Prep 259
Meeting Overview and Suggested Timing 260
Check- in - 15 minutes 260
Activity: Sex and Feelings - 20 minutes 265
Interactive Lecture: Purity Culture and Sexuality - 40 minutes 269
Activity & Discussion: What I Wish I Had Known - 25 minutes 274
Check- out - 15 minutes 276
Assignments and Close - 5 minutes 276
Meeting 13: Let's REALLY Talk About Sex 279
Pre- meeting Notes and Prep 279
Meeting Overview and Suggested Timing 279
Check- in - 15 minutes 280
Activity: Let's Talk About Sex - 40 minutes 284
Interactive Lecture: The Importance of Consent - 20 minutes 287
Subgroup Activity: "The Sex Talk" - 30 minutes 291
Check- out - 15 minutes 292
Assignments and Close - 5 minutes 293
Meeting 14: Women's Health 295
Pre- meeting Notes and Prep 295
Meeting Overview and Suggested Timing 295
Check- in - 15 minutes 296
Interactive Lecture: What Is Wellness and Why Does It Matter? - 40 minutes 300
Subgroup Activity: My Physical Health - 30 minutes 308
Subgroup Activity: Creating a Plan for Your Wellness - 20 minutes 309
Check- out - 10 minutes 310
Assignments and Close - 5 minutes 311
Meeting 15: Healthy Discipline 313
Pre- meeting Notes and Prep 313
Meeting Overview and Suggested Timing 315
Check- in - 15 minutes 315
Interactive Lecture: Defining Discipline - 10 minutes 320
Subgroup Discussions: Healthy Discipline - 25 minutes 322
Activity: Abuse and Discipline - 45 minutes 325
Mini- Lecture: Stopping the Cycle - 5 minutes 330
Check- out - 15 minutes 332
Assignment and Close - 5 minutes 333
Meeting 16: The Art of Play 335
Pre- meeting Notes and Prep 335
Meeting Overview and Suggested Timing 336
Check- in - 15 minutes 336
Lecture: The Importance of Play - 10 minutes 339
Large Group Discussion: How Do You Play? - 15 minutes 341
Subgroup Discussions: Teachable Moments - 35 minutes 342
Activity: Playtime! - 25 minutes 344
Check- out - 15 minutes 345
Assignment and Close - 5 minutes 347
Meeting 17: A Balancing Act 349
Pre- meeting Notes and Prep 349
Meeting Overview and Suggested Timing 350
Check- in - 15 minutes 350
Subgroup Discussions: Finding Balance - 35 minutes 353
Activity: Bullseye - 15 minutes 356
Activity: My Amazing Mom Action Plan - 35 minutes 359
Check- out - 15 minutes 360
Assignment and Close - 5 minutes 361
Bullseye Activity Template 363
Meeting 18: Vision of Motherhood 365
Pre- meeting Notes and Prep 365
Meeting Overview and Suggested Timing 366
Check- in - 15 minutes 367
Activity: The Drama Triangle and "Healthy Bad Guy" Superhero Logo - 45 minutes 369
Activity: Superhero Logo Presentations - 30 minutes 373
Activity: Connections Made - 15 minutes 373
Check- out and Close - 15 minutes 377
Superhero Logo Options 380
