Choosing Us : Stories and Strategies to Strengthen Your Marriage from Inside the Therapy Room

著者名：Van Viegen, Jonathan

Jossey-Bass（2026/10/23発売）

• 言語：ENG
• ISBN：9781394387014
• eISBN：9781394387021

Description

Real therapy sessions reveal practical strategies for couples seeking deeper connection

Couples therapy works, with approximately 70% of couples experiencing measurable improvements. Yet cost and access barriers prevent many from getting help. Choosing Us: Stories and Strategies to Strengthen Your Marriage from Inside the Therapy Room brings the therapy experience directly to readers through the stories of three couples navigating conflict resolution, communication breakdowns, trust issues, and infidelity under the guidance of therapist Jonathan Van Viegen.

Each chapter presents a raw, emotional therapy session vignette that illuminates common relationship challenges. These stories are paired with prescriptive content and analysis, giving readers actionable strategies they can implement immediately. Van Viegen's contrarian approach challenges mainstream pop-psychology, offering fresh perspectives on relationship dynamics drawn from his years of clinical work and his popular Instagram content reaching fifteen million views monthly.

Readers will also find:

• Practical communication techniques for resolving conflicts without escalation or emotional withdrawal from your partner
• Strategies for rebuilding trust after betrayal and creating stronger foundations for lasting intimacy and connection
• Tools to identify relationship red flags early and address underlying issues before they become destructive patterns
• Guidance on feeling chosen and cherished through specific behaviors and conversations that demonstrate genuine commitment
• Direct, honest advice that cuts through generic self-help platitudes to address real relationship struggles couples face

Choosing Us serves married couples aged thirty to fifty-five seeking guidance on communication, conflict resolution, and trust. It also helps single individuals preparing for healthy future relationships and those rebuilding after divorce who want to avoid repeating past patterns.

Table of Contents

Contents

Prologue: To Be Chosen and Cherished…or Not  vii

Part I: Vanessa and Julian: Surviving Infidelity  1

Chapter 1: Don’t Ask Why (What Comes First After Betrayal) 3

Chapter 2: Feeding the Pain Makes It Grow (Choosing Trust and Forgiveness Before You Know How) 17

Chapter 3: The Message You Send (Your Words and Actions Make Them Feel Chosen)  29

Chapter 4: Breaking the Pain Loop (Become a Source of Joy Again)  43

Chapter 5: Do More of What Works (Pain Hates Consistency, Healing Loves It)  55


Part II: Jada and Chris: Overcoming Conflict  67


Chapter 6: What Are You Afraid of? (Trade Fear for the Connection You Crave)  69

Chapter 7: Us vs. the Problem (Curiosity Builds a Team) 83

Chapter 8: The Repair Cycle That Works (Turning Gunshots into Pinpricks) 95

Chapter 9: Take the Armor Off (Speaking the Truth That Scares You) 109

Chapter 10: Go First and Win (the Clean Apology That Actually Lands) 125


Part III: Debbie and Mike: Healing Emotional Decay  139


Chapter 11: Safety is a Choice (Predictability Makes Repair Possible) 141

Chapter 12: Consistency is the Antidote to Despair (Don’t Wait for Safety to Grow)  153

Chapter 13: Act and You’ll Receive (Forgiveness is the Byproduct, Not the Goal)  167

Chapter 14: Don’t Try Harder (Be the Person They Fell in Love with Again)   183

Chapter 15: No Time Like Now (You Don’t Get Back the Moments You Miss)  199


Epilogue: To Be Beloved  215

Acknowledgments  221

About the Author  223

Index  225