Description
Provides a practical plan to break unhelpful thinking and behavioural patterns for lasting change
Many people struggle with thoughts and reactions that feel overwhelming, repetitive, or out of proportion—yet don’t always understand why. Breaking Negative Thinking Patterns Step by Step offers a clear, evidence-based framework to recognise and transform these recurring emotional and behavioural patterns, known as “modes.” Drawing on schema therapy and the latest clinical research, Hannie van Genderen guides readers through a five-step process designed to identify unhelpful modes, understand their origins, and develop healthier, more balanced ways of responding to life’s challenges.
Through the relatable stories of Sarah, Martin, and Nora, readers learn to see how modes influence their emotions and relationships—and how meaningful change is possible. Each step of the process includes structured guidance, real-world examples, and practical exercises that encourage self-awareness, resilience, and emotional growth. Whether used independently or alongside a therapist, this book empowers readers to create lasting transformation by strengthening their healthy adult mode and nurturing self-compassion.
Showing that change is achievable—not by fighting behavioural patterns, but by understanding and reshaping them, Breaking Negative Thinking Patterns Step by Step:
- Introduces a clinically grounded plan for identifying and changing negative modes
- Integrates the latest insights from schema therapy and psychological research
- Illustrates each stage of the transformation process
- Includes worksheets to support self-guided or therapist-assisted change
- Explains how to maintain progress and prevent relapse through ongoing self-reflection
- Offers strategies to strengthen healthy emotional patterns and balanced thinking
Combining scientific insight, professional expertise, and deep empathy, Breaking Negative Thinking Patterns Step by Step is a must-have for individuals seeking to better understand and manage their emotions and behaviour. It is also a valuable resource for therapists using schema therapy or related approaches, professionals in mental health and wellbeing roles, and undergraduate and postgraduate students in clinical psychology, counselling, and psychotherapy courses.
Table of Contents
List of exercises viii
Preface x
1 Introduction 1
The five steps 1
Introducing: Sarah, Martin and Nora 3
2 What are modes and pitfalls? 10
How do modes arise? 10
Basic needs and pitfalls 11
Coping styles 17
Modes 19
Unhelpful modes 23
Child modes 23
Critical modes 33
Coping modes 42
Helpful modes 58
Healthy adult mode 58
Happy child mode 59
Summary 60
3 Step 1: Discovering your own modes 63
Where do you start? 63
Making your mode model 77
A plan to change your modes 79
Difficult moments 80
Step 1 Overview 87
4 Step 2: Recognising modes in everyday situations 89
Aids in recognising your modes 93
Difficult moments 97
Step 2 Overview 100
5 Step 3: Starting to change modes 102
A closer look at the seven sub- goals 103
How does an appointment with your therapist go? 108
Exercises to change your modes 111
Gaining new experiences 111
Changing thoughts 134
Changing behaviour 137
Difficult moments 141
Step 3 Overview 145
6 Step 4: Changing your modes independently 147
Setting goals 148
How does an appointment with your therapist go? 150
Changing modes in your own way 151
Gaining new experiences 151
Changing thoughts 171
Changing behaviour 178
Strengthening the healthy adult 178
Learning to care for the vulnerable child 183
Learning a balanced way to express your anger 185
Limiting the impulsive, undisciplined or spoilt child 195
Strengthening the Changing thoughts 203
Changing behaviour 204
Difficult moments 205
Step 4 Overview 211
7 Step 5: Continuing to change modes in the future 214
Recognising and changing modes early, and identifying triggers 214
Gaining new experiences 215
Changing thoughts 222
Changing behaviour 222
A plan to prevent relapse 225
Difficult moments 226
Step 5 Overview 230
8 In conclusion 232
Appendix 1: Mode model worksheet 235
Appendix 2: Self- inquiry circle worksheet 237
Appendix 3: Thought journal worksheet 238 Appendix 4: Visualisation exercise worksheet 240 Appendix 5: Role- play worksheet 242
Appendix 6: Homework form worksheet 244
Appendix 7: Positive logbook worksheet 246
Appendix 8: Changing behavioural patterns worksheet 248
Bibliography 250
Index 252
