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Full Description
'Can you love more than one person?' A lot of conversations about nonmonogamy start this way. When we discuss 'opening' relationships, contemplate whether we want to be exclusive with our partners, or introduce multiple partners to friends and family, we are asking the people in our lives, and ourselves, to contend with this question. The answer is obvious, and misleading. The love one feels in their heart and the love one expresses through daily acts of care and affection are both 'love' in the true sense, but they have different requirements, present different options and produce different outcomes. More Than Two can't promise outcomes, but it is a guide to the paths-from anchor or nesting partnerships to relationship anarchy-possible within nonmonogamy. This long-awaited second edition bridges emerging theories on attachment and relationship diversity with authors Eve Rickert and Andrea Zanin's insight and experience. The arcs of nonmonogamous partnerships bend towards complexity, introspection and compromise-or at least they can, if we work at it.
Contents
Foreword xi
Eve's Preface and Acknowledgements xiii
Andrea's Preface and Acknowledgements xxi
Introduction 1
Part 1 Laying Your Foundation 13
1 Choosing Nonmonogamy 15
2 Finding Your Compass (or, Don't Be Mean) 31
3 Abuse 58
Part 2 A Nonmonogamy Toolkit 87
4 Tending Your Self 89
5 Nurturing Your Relationships 111
6 Communication Pitfalls 122
7 Communication Strategies 137
8 Befriending the Green- Eyed Monster 155
Part 3 N onmonogamous Frameworks 165
9 Boundaries 167
10 Rules and Agreements 184
11 Hierarchy and Primary/Secondary Polyamory 201
12 Veto Arrangements 226
13 Empowered Relationships 240
14 Practical Nonmonogamy Agreements 253
Part 4 T he Nonmonogamous Reality 271
15 How Nonmonogamous Relationships Are Different 273
16 Opening from a Couple 294
17 Mono/Poly Relationships 309
18 Finding Partners 321
19 Life in the Polycule 332
20 Sex, Pleasure, Risk and Health 353
21 Relationship Transitions 382
The Future of Nonmonogamy 397
Glossary 400
Notes 407
Resources 419
Index 429
