Full Description
Abandon disbelief, all ye who enter here. Or face problems when you encounter an ancient mariner with no tale worth telling, wild parties at Pooh Corner, John Betjeman moonlighting as a trapeze artist, Shakespeare assembling flat-pack furniture without the Instructions, Pam Ayres and her teeth on Judgement Day, Longfellow's reaction to the gift of a paper-shredder, the real writer of the Bard's plays, Robert Burns as a hater of the haggis, a very seasick John Masefield, the Lady of Shalott with a shotgun, Ogden Nash on the facts of life (no, not those facts), Philip Larkin's views on child carol singers and Noel Coward's on Council flats.
This excursion through the left field of English verse also features comments by word-smiths including Old Nokomis, Joan Hunter-Dunn, Wordsworth's ghost, Christopher Robin, Andrew Marvell's coy mistress, Betjeman's bit-swallowing pony, Tennyson's garden-phobic Maud, Cleopatra's Executor, Mrs Polonius, Nigel Molesworth, Maya Angelou's Christmas turkey, Eeyore and a cheese and pickle sandwich.
A light-heartedly irreverent read for all but the most po-faced of poetry fans. Several of its poems have already appeared in public, chiefly in The Spectator.
From the author of I Think I Thought which laughed wryly at the rites and wrongs of childhood, youth and ageing.
Contents
Confessions and Revelations:- The Rime of the Wrong Ancient Mariner 1 Game, Set and Match! 4 John Betjeman's Surprising Saturday Job 5 Bloody Woman from Dakota 6 Minnehaha's Bison Breakfasts 8 Despite Thy Snoring 9 A Confession from Robert Burns 11 The Boy Wordsworth's Kitten 12 Inn-keeping in the Pyrenees 13 You're Still Old, Father William 14 The Dreams of a Perpetual Twelfth Man 16 Morning in a Different Light 17 Children's Corner:- City Whizz Kid 20 The Haiku at Pooh Corner 21 The Lion Replies to Christopher Robin 22 Christopher Robin's Party Animals 23 Bagpipe Music at Buckingham Palace 25 Primary School in the Time of Covid 27 Sing a Song of Sixpence with Walter de la Mare 28 Nursery Rhymes Updated 29 Straight From the Horse's Mouth 31 A Very Model of a Conway Stewart Fountain Pen 33 vii A Poet's Lot is Not a Happy One:- The Poet's Song 36 Pam Ayres Still Worrying About Her Teeth 37 To Mrs. Kipling from Rudyard 38 Longfellow and a Paper Shredder 40 The Happy Prince Brought Down 41 The Importance of Being Oscar 42 Seasick Masefield 43 Breakfast with John Masefield 44 This is Just to Say . . . 45 Bob Dylan Looks Back 46 That's Life! 47 Aspects of Love:- A Nursery Memory of Mfanwy 49 Joan Hunter-Dunn's Bequest to John Betjeman 50 Seeing More of 'Celia' 51 There Once Was an Heiress . . . 52 Dorothy Parker on a Gift from Robert Burns 53 Windsor Wedding 54 Loveliest of Buns, Your Eccles Cake 55 A Love Letter to Wendy Cope 56 Louis MacNeice Plays 'Bagpipe Music' at Larkin's 'Whitsun Weddings' 57 With Robert Herrick and his Julia 59 John Donne as Flea Circus Ringmaster 60 She Replies to Marlowe's Passionate Shepherd 61 His 'Coy Mistress' Replies to Andrew Marvell 62 Leigh Hunt's 'Jenny' Changes Her Mind 63 viii Going to Bed with a Cheese and Pickle Sandwich 64 Environmental Concerns:- The Springtime of My Discontent 67 Maud Rejects Tennyson's Invitation 68 The Wind Farm of Shalott 69 Shalott Revisited 70 The Curse of Wordsworth 71 Wordsworth's Ghost Revisits Westminster Bridge 72 Don't Let's Be Beastly to The Poor Chinese 73 Noel Coward on Council Flats 74 Bard On The Run:- On His First-Ever Folio 76 The Bard Versus an Ikea Flat-pack 77 The Bard Rewires a Plug for his Dark Lady 78 Much Ado About Humpty Dumpty 79 Almost All the World's a Stage 80 The Dark Lady's Concern About Sonnet 130 82 The Dark Lady Switches Allegiance 83 Wishful Thinking 84 The Play's the Thing 85 Small Ads. from Shakespeare 86 Shakespeare. The View from St. Custard's 88 i x Festive Cheer:- the nativity in a nutshell 90 To Santa . . . from Dorothy Parker 91 Maya Angelou's Turkey 92 These Be The Songs 93 Leonard Cohen's Christmas Hallelujah 94 Tennyson's Hopes for the New Year 95 Eeyore at Christmas 96
