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Full Description
This book is about what it means to make a choice. As mothers, how do we carry life and death in our bodies and survive with our hearts intact?
The Heart Folds Early is a story of transformation through tragedy, and an examination of the way in which great loss can make us simultaneously fearful and intrepid. Emerging from a childhood that included both devastating sexual abuse and the sustaining joy of being deeply (if imperfectly) loved, Jill Christman's sights were set on building and protecting her own happy family—until her fiancé was killed in a car accident.
Christman folds the mournful recklessness of the young widow she was against the backdrop of her later marriage and new motherhood, including the choice to end a half-term pregnancy when a routine ultrasound revealed her baby boy had just half a heart. Courageous, clear-eyed, tender, and unexpectedly funny, Christman's book reflects on her life and asks: What happens when we're afraid the worst thing will happen and then, sometimes, it does? What does it mean to make and live with a heartrending choice? How do we carry life and death in our bodies and survive with our hearts intact?
Contents
Prologue
1. Sweet Home Alabama
2. Grief Is the Gorilla
3. Long Prairie Road and Highway 101
4. I Can't Make You Love Me
5. Tongue and Groove
6. Feminist Fury: An Interlude
7. Testing Begets Testing
8. Becoming the Mother I Am
9. Ways of Seeing
10. Nothing's Going to Change My World
11. Moona's Story
12. The Secret of Secrets
13. The Eighteen-Week Ultrasound
14. Choice
15. Chicago
16. Between Heaven and Earth
17. What If It's a Myth?
18. Painting Faces
19. The Heart Folds Early
20. L.B.
21. Vagina Will Find Vagina
22. The Angel and the Umbilical Rope
23. Give Me Your Hands
Acknowledgments
