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'Wonderful, thoughtful, practical' - Cariad Lloyd, Griefcast
'Encouraging and inspiring' - Dr Kathryn Mannix, author of Amazon bestseller With the End in Mind
We all know how this ends is a new approach to death and dying, showing how exploring our mortality really can change our lives.
End-of-life doula Anna Lyons and funeral director Louise Winter have joined forces to share a collection of the heartbreaking, surprising and uplifting stories of the ordinary and extraordinary lives they encounter every single day.
From working with the living, the dying, the dead and the grieving, Anna and Louise reveal the lessons they've learned about life, death, love and loss. Together they've created a profound but practical guide to rethinking the one thing that's guaranteed to happen to us all. We are all going to die, and that's ok. Let's talk about it.
This is a book about life and living, as much as it's a book about death and dying. It's a reflection on the beauties, blessings and tragedies of life, the exquisite agony and ecstasy of being alive, and the fragility of everything we hold dear. It's as simple and as complicated as that.
Contents
Introduction
This book begins at the end
We really need to talk about death and dying
Why we really don't want to talk about it
The Life. Death. Whatever. manifesto
What is Five Things?
What is Unsaid?
Death & dying
Can doulas be part of the future of end-of-life care?
Why I became an end-of-life doula
How to become an end-of-life doula
What does a good doula look like?
From doula to patient and back again
When you're first diagnosed
Debunking the myths of palliative care and hospices
Getting the most from your consultations with your doctor and specialist
Sex and intimacy are still just as important when you're unwell
Dying doesn't look like it does in the movies
How to be there for someone when they are dying
Preparing for death: doing your death admin
Making funeral arrangements in advance
Different places to die
COVID-19: A pandemic in our lifetime
'Out of order' death
Baby Amy
The toll illness can take on relationships
Assisted dying
A matter of life and death
The undeniable beauty in the impermanence of life
Funerals
Why I became a funeral director
Not all funeral directors are the same
How to choose a funeral director
DIY funerals
Seeing the person who has died can be a profound and meaningful experience
What really happens after someone has died?
Why would I want to see someone after they've died?
Allowing children to do what is right for them
Why funerals really matter
How to have a good funeral
Funerals & COVID-19
Planning your own funeral
Ask a funeral director anything
A truly poetic ending
Grief
What is grief?
Your life after their death - the things we want you to know about grief
Growing around grief
Grief SOS
How to support a grieving friend
What to say when you don't know what to say
When a partner dies
Grief lasts a lifetime
We need to talk
How to talk about death and dying
How to talk to children about death, dying and grief
All that's left Unsaid
Words left unspoken
Life & living
Regret
This could be the last time
The essentials of self-care
Kintsugi: emotional damage and repair
Everything we've learned about life and living from working with death and dying
Get involved with Life. Death. Whatever.
The dictionary of death & dying
Resources & recommended reading
Acknowledgements
Index
About the authors
