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Saint Rafael Arnaiz was born in Burgos, Spain, on April 9, 1911. When he was twenty-one years old, he left behind the comforts of his wealthy family and an unfinished degree in architecture to join the Trappist-Cistercian abbey of San Isidro de Dueñas. A sudden onset of diabetes and the beginning of the Spanish Civil War (1936-1939) turned his monastic journey into an unusual one.
In these unfavorable circumstances and despite the shortness of his life (he died soon after his twenty-seventh birthday), Rafael developed a solid spirituality, which in its simplicity is a straight path to holiness. He has been compared to mystics like Teresa of Ávila and John of the Cross, whose writings inspired him, and his theology of the cross, born from his prayer, places him in continuity with the best of the monastic tradition. In his letters and journals, compiled in this volume, his heart speaks of the joys and struggles of striving to live for God alone.
Contents
Contents
Drawings and Paintings xv
Abbreviations xviii
Map of Spain xx
"Upheld by Him": A Saint in the Making
Sr. María Gonzalo-García, OCSO xxi
A Note on the Translation Catherine Addington liii
I. All the World Can Give: Early Years and Vocational Discernment
1. To Rafael Arnaiz Sánchez de la Campa. April 2, 1921 4
2. To Rafael Arnaiz Sánchez de la Campa. June 23, 1930 5
3. Postcards from Salamanca. July 12, 1930 9
4. To Mercedes Barón Torres. July 18, 1930 10
5. To Leopoldo Barón. October 11, 1930 11
6. To María Osorio. March 15, 1931 17
7. Impressions of La Trapa. September 1931 20
8. To Rosa Calvo. January 10, 1932 26
9. To Luis Fernando Arnaiz Barón. November 4, 1932 29
10. To Rafael Arnaiz Sánchez de la Campa and Mercedes Barón Torres. October 21, 1933 37
11. Rafael's Daily Schedule in Madrid. October 1933 42
12. To Dom Félix Alonso García. November 19, 1933 43
13. Dedication of a Holy Card to Leopoldo Barón. November 22, 1933 45
14. To Rafael Arnaiz Sánchez de la Campa and Mercedes Barón Torres. November 28, 1933 46
15. To Fr. Marcelo León. December 3, 1933 49
16. To Fernanda Torres. December 7, 1933 52
17. To Fr. Marcelo León. December 8, 1933 54
18. To Fernanda Torres. December 10, 1933 56
19. To Fr. Marcelo León. December 17, 1933 59
20. To Leopoldo Barón. December 17, 1933 62
21. To Fr. Marcelo León. January 1, 1934 65
22. To Dom Félix Alonso García. January 9, 1934 68
23. To María Osorio and Leopoldo Barón. January 12, 1934 69
24. Dedication of a Little Office to Mercedes Barón Torres. January 14, 1934 71
25. Dedication of a Holy Card to Mercedes Barón Torres. January 14, 1934 72
II. A Heart Filled with Joy and Love: Joining the Monastery
26. To Mercedes Barón Torres. January 16, 1934 74
27. To Rafael Arnaiz Sánchez de la Campa and Mercedes Barón Torres. January 23, 1934 76
28. To Rafael Arnaiz Sánchez de la Campa and Mercedes Barón Torres. January 24, 1934 78
29. To Mercedes Barón Torres. January 29, 1934 80
30. To Mercedes Barón Torres. January 30, 1934 83
31. To Mercedes Barón Torres. February 18, 1934 87
32. To Rafael Arnaiz Sánchez de la Campa. February 19, 1934 90
33. To Rafael Arnaiz Sánchez de la Campa and Mercedes Barón Torres. April 1, 1934 93
34. To Rafael Arnaiz Sánchez de la Campa. April 8, 1934 101
III. I Thought That God Was Abandoning Me: Struck by Illness
35. To Leopoldo Barón. June 3, 1934 106
36. To Fr. Marcelo León. June 11, 1934 109
37. To Leopoldo Barón. June 17, 1934 113
38. Dedication of a Holy Card of Saint Thérèse of the Child Jesus to Ramón Vallaure. July 7, 1934 118
39. To Fr. Marcelo León. July 22, 1934 119
40. To María Osorio. July 23, 1934 123
41. To Fernanda Torres. August 9, 1934 133
42. To Fr. Marcelo León. August 11, 1934 134
43. To Leopoldo Barón. August 12, 1934 137
44. To W. Marino del Hierro. August 15, 1934 141
45. To W. Marino del Hierro. August 20, 1934 145
46. To W. Marino del Hierro. September 2, 1934 150
47. To Fr. Vicente Pardo. September 3, 1934 154
48. To Fr. Francisco Díez. September 15, 1934 156
49. To Rosa Calvo. September 15, 1934 159
50. To W. Marino del Hierro. September 18, 1934 163
51. The Trappist's Apologia. September 19, 1934 167
52. To W. Marino del Hierro. September 29, 1934 182
53. To Fernanda Torres. September 30, 1934 186
54. To Fr. Marcelo León. October 2, 1934 192
55. To Rafael Arnaiz Sánchez de la Campa. October 24, 1934 194
56. Literary Notes. October 25, 1934 196
57. To Mercedes Barón Torres. November 12, 1934 197
58. To Leopoldo Arnaiz Barón. November 14, 1934 199
59. To Rafael Arnaiz Sánchez de la Campa and Mercedes Barón Torres. November 19, 1934 200
60. Dedication of a Holy Card to Fr. Buenaventura Ramos Caballero. November 21, 1934 202
61. To Fr. Marcelo León. February 21, 1935 203
62. To Rafael Arnaiz Sánchez de la Campa. September 24, 1935 206
63. To Leopoldo Barón. October 1935 210
IV. Shaped in His Hands: A Path of Oblation
64. To Dom Félix Alonso García. October 9, 1935 214
65. To Leopoldo Barón. October 1935 221
66. To Leopoldo Barón. October 1935 223
67. Dedication of a Holy Card to Dolores Barón Osorio. October 25, 1935 224
68. Dedication of a Holy Card to María Osorio. October 27, 1935 225
69. To Dom Félix Alonso García. November 7, 1935 226
70. To María Osorio. November 8, 1935 228
71. To María Osorio. November 11, 1935 235
72. To María Osorio. November 16, 1935 239
73. To María Osorio. November 18, 1935 251
74. To Leopoldo Barón. November 22, 1935 257
75. To María Osorio. November 22, 1935 260
76. To María Osorio. November 26, 1935 271
77. To María Osorio. November 27, 1935 275
78. To María Osorio. December 1, 1935 288
79. Notes Written by Rafael in His Copy of the Little Office of the Blessed Virgin Mary. Second Half of 1935 294
80. Dedication of a Little Office to his Mother, Mercedes Barón Torres. December 2, 1935 295
81. To María Osorio. December 4, 1935 296
82. To Leopoldo Barón. December 5, 1935 302
83. Dedication of a Holy Card to María Osorio. December 5, 1935 304
84. To María Osorio. December 7, 1935 306
85. To María Osorio. December 10, 1935 311
86. To María Osorio. December 15, 1935 322
87. To Leopoldo Barón. December 16, 1935 328
88. To Fernanda Torres. December 17, 1935 333
89. To María Osorio. December 20, 1935 335
90. To María Osorio. December 24, 1935 346
91. Dedication of a Holy Card to Br. Jesús Sandoval. December 25, 1935 348
92. To María Osorio. December 26, 1935 349
93. To María Osorio. December 27, 1935 354
94. To María Osorio. December 29, 1935 361
95. To Fr. José Olmedo. January 3, 1936 367
96. To W. Marino del Hierro. January 3, 1936 369
97. To María Osorio. January 3, 1936 370
98. To María Osorio. January 4, 1936 373
99. To José Olmedo. January 7, 1936 379
100. Dedication of a Holy Card to Mercedes Barón Torres. January 9, 1936 380
101. Dedication of a Holy Card to Leopoldo Barón. January 10, 1936 381
V. The Circus Clown: The Last One in the Community
102. To Rafael Arnaiz Sánchez de la Campa. January 14, 1936 384
103. To Rafael Arnaiz Sánchez de la Campa. February 9, 1936 386
104. To Rafael Arnaiz Sánchez de la Campa. February 18, 1936 396
105. To María Osorio. February 23, 1936 398
106. To Leopoldo Barón. April 17, 1936 405
107. Dedication of a Holy Card to Leopoldo Barón. June 14, 1936 411
108. Meditations of a Trappist: How Great God Is! July 12, 1936 412
109. Meditations of a Trappist: Knowing How to Wait. July 12, 1936 415
110. Meditations of a Trappist: A Worldly Youth. July 19, 1936 416
111. Meditations of a Trappist: What Will Happen in Spain? July 19, 1936 420
112. Meditations of a Trappist: "The Nations Are in an Uproar." July 24, 1936 422
113. Meditations of a Trappist: The Circus Clown. July 24, 1936 425
114. Meditations of a Trappist: Silence. July 25, 1936 426
115. Meditations of a Trappist: The Day Goes By. July 25, 1936 428
116. Meditations of a Trappist: The Hour of Vespers. July 25, 1936 430
117. Meditations of a Trappist: How to Be Happy. July 26, 1936 433
118. Meditations of a Trappist: Viaticum. July 27, 1936 436
119. Meditations of a Trappist: Not Knowing How to Cut Grass. July 29, 1936 438
120. Meditations of a Trappist: The Sea in Fair Weather. July 30, 1936 440
121. Meditations of a Trappist: How Great Is the Mercy of God! August 1, 1936 442
122. Meditations of a Trappist: The Tower Bells. August 2, 1936 444
123. Meditations of a Trappist: Spain Is at War. August 2, 1936 446
124. Meditations of a Trappist: Life Is a Struggle. August 3, 1936 449
125. Meditations of a Trappist: Tying Sheaves. August 3, 1936 451
126. Meditations of a Trappist: No News from the World. August 4, 1936 453
127. Meditations of a Trappist: On Our Way to Work. August 5, 1936 454
128. Meditations of a Trappist: You Don't Just Come and Conquer. August 5, 1936 457
129. Meditations of a Trappist: The Pears in the Grove. August 6, 1936 459
130. Meditations of a Trappist: You Alone. August 8, 1936 461
131. To Leopoldo Barón. August 30, 1936 464
132. To Rafael Arnaiz Sánchez de la Campa. September 13, 1936 468
133. To Luis Fernando Arnaiz Barón. September 13, 1936 471
VI. A Deer That Thirsts: The Interior Trappist
134. To Mercedes Barón. October 18, 1936 474
135. To Rafael Arnaiz Sánchez de la Campa and Mercedes Barón. November 14, 1936 477
136. My Notebook. December 8, 1936 479
137. My Notebook: "As a Deer Longs for Flowing Streams." December 9, 1936 481
138. My Notebook: Solitude. December 11, 1936 486
139. My Notebook: The Antics of the Turnips. December 12, 1936 490
140. My Notebook: Hidden. December 14, 1936 494
141. My Notebook: Freedom. December 15, 1936 497
142. My Notebook: "Raise Your Heads, because Your Redemption Is Drawing Near." December 22, 1936 502
143. My Notebook: Pax! December 23, 1936 507
144. My Notebook: Meditation. December 27, 1936 508
145. My Notebook: "Laudate Dominum omnes gentes." December 30, 1936 510
146. My Notebook: Happy New Year!! January 1, 1937 514
147. My Notebook: Just God and Me. January 4, 1937 516
148. My Notebook: "Wise Men from the East Came to Jerusalem, Asking, Where Is the One Who Has Been Born, Whose Star We Have Observed?" January 6, 1937 518
149. My Notebook: A War in the World. January 8, 1937 521
150. My Notebook: "The Lord Gave, and the Lord Has Taken Away." January 10, 1937 523
151. My Notebook: The View from My Window. January 13, 1937 528
152. My Notebook: The Wind. January 15, 1937 531
153. My Notebook: My Notebook. January 18, 1937 532
154. My Notebook: Meditation on a Passage from Kempis. January 20, 1937 535
155. My Notebook: My Pencil. January 22, 1937 540
156. My Notebook: Simplicity and Openness. January 25, 1937 542
157. My Notebook: My Heaven on Earth. January 28, 1937 545
158. My Notebook: "Fiat." February 6, 1937 546
VII. Foolishness for Christ: In the World Once Again
159. To Leopoldo Barón. March 18, 1937 550
160. To María Osorio. May 8, 1937 553
161. To María Osorio. September 3, 1937 562
162. To Leopoldo Barón. September 25, 1937 566
163. To Leopoldo Barón. September 26, 1937 574
164. To Leopoldo Barón. October 11, 1937 580
165. To Leopoldo Torres. October 30, 1937 585
166. To Toribio Luis (Br. Tescelino) Arribas. November 1, 1937 589
167. To Fr. Francisco Díez. November 29, 1937 594
168. To Toribio Luis (Br. Tescelino) Arribas. December 1, 1937 596
169. To Toribio Luis (Br. Tescelino) Arribas. 1937 602
VIII. It Is Love . . . : The Ultimate Sacrifice of Praise
170. God and My Soul. December 16, 1937 606
171. God and My Soul: Everything I Do Is because of God. December 21, 1937 608
172. God and My Soul: Take It All, Lord! December 26, 1937 609
173. God and My Soul: Perseverance in Prayer. December 29, 1937 611
174. God and My Soul: Humility. December 31, 1937 612
175. God and My Soul: My Vow. January 1, 1938 613
176. To Mercedes Barón. January 6, 1938 615
177. God and My Soul: My Will Is Yours, Lord! January 6, 1938 619
178. God and My Soul: "The Greatest Penance Is Community Life." January 7, 1938 620
179. God and My Soul: Teach Me, Lord, to Love Your Cross. January 31, 1938 621
180. God and My Soul: How Good You Are, Lord; You Love Me So Much. February 5, 1938 623
181. God and My Soul: The Greatest Consolation Is to Have None at All. February 12, 1938 626
182. God and My Soul: Living United to Your Cross. February 13, 1938 629
183. To Rafael Arnaiz Sánchez de la Campa. February 14, 1938 632
184. God and My Soul: You, Lord, Are My Hope. February 18, 1938 634
185. God and My Soul: I Desire Only You and Your Cross. February 23, 1938 637
186. God and My Soul: "I Am the Resurrection and the Life." February 26, 1938 640
187. God and My Soul: I Offered My Life to the Lord. February 27, 1938 643
188. God and My Soul: "How Long, O Lord?" March 4, 1938 646
189. God and My Soul: Jesus Is Where I Belong! March 7, 1938 649
190. God and My Soul: Nothing That Comes to an End Is of Great Value. March 8, 1938 651
191. God and My Soul: Virgin Mary, I Offer You My Will. March 9, 1938 653
192. Dedication of a Holy Card to Br. Damián Yáñez. March 9, 1938 654
193. God and My Soul: Lord, How Hard It Is to Live! March 13, 1938 655
194. God and My Soul: To Die for Jesus and Mary. March 19, 1938 659
195. God and My Soul: I Am So Tired, Lord! March 20, 1938 662
196. God and My Soul: A Visit with His Brother Luis Fernando. March 25, 1938 665
197. God and My Soul: A Little Piece of His Cross. March 28, 1938 668
198. God and My Soul: When Will You Begin? April 1, 1938 670
199. God and My Soul: Relishing the Cross. April 3, 1938 671
200. God and My Soul: How Good It Is to Live Close to the Cross of Christ! April 7, 1938 675
201. Godand My Soul: Palm Sunday. April 10, 1938 678
202. God and My Soul: Holy Tuesday. April 12, 1938 682
203. God and My Soul: Holy Wednesday. April 13, 1938 686
204. God and My Soul: Holy Thursday. April 14, 1938 688
205. To Toribio Luis (Br. Tescelino) Arribas. April 15, 1938 690
206. God and My Soul: Easter Sunday. April 17, 1938 693
207. To Leopoldo Arnaiz Barón. April 17, 1938 694
208. Chapter of Faults 698
IX. Never Stop Looking to the Heights: Prayers and Other Undated Passages
209. Passages from Notes I 700
210. Passages from Notes II 701
211. Passages from Notes III 704
212. A Prayer in Time of War 706
213. Dedication of a Holy Card to María Osorio 708
214. Dedication of a Holy Card to Rosa Calvo 709
215. Loose Paper Written in Pencil 710
216. Note in Rafael's Bible 711
217. Gloss on Psalm 6 712
218. Dedication of a Holy Card to Fernando Barón Osorio 713
219. Dedication of a Holy Card 714
Addressees 715
Time Line 717
Photographs 719
Bibliography 725
