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Full Description
Getting through to someone is a critical, fine art. Whether you are dealing with a harried colleague, a stressed-out client, or an insecure spouse, things will go from bad to worse if you can't break through emotional barricades and get your message thoroughly communicated and registered.
Drawing on his experience as a psychiatrist, business consultant, and coach, author Mark Goulston combines his background with the latest scientific research to help you turn the "impossible" and "unreachable" people in their lives into allies, devoted customers, loyal colleagues, and lifetime friends.
In Just Listen, Goulston provides simple yet powerful techniques you can use to really get through to people including how to:
make a powerful and positive first impression;
listen effectively;
make even a total stranger (potential client) feel understood;
talk an angry or aggressive person away from an instinctual, unproductive reaction and toward a more rational mindset;
and achieve buy-in--the linchpin of all persuasion, negotiation, and sales.
Whether they're coworkers, friends, strangers, or enemies, the first make-or-break step in persuading anyone to do anything is getting them to hear you out. The invaluable principles in Just Listen will get you through that first tough step with anyone.
With this groundbreaking book, you will be able to master the fine but critical art of effective communication.
Contents
CONTENTS
Foreword by Keith Ferrazzi xiii
Preface to the Paperback Edition xv
Acknowledgments xvii
SECTION I The Secret to Reaching Anyone 1
1 Who's Holding YOU Hostage? 3
2 A Little Science: How the Brain Goes from "No" to "Yes" 14
SECTION II The 9 Core Rules for Getting Through to Anyone 25
3 Move Yourself from "Oh F#@& to OK" 27
4 Rewire Yourself to Listen 36
5 Make the Other Person Feel "Felt" 45
6 Be More Interested Than Interesting 55
7 Make People Feel Valuable 64
8 Help People to Exhale Emotionally and Mentally 69
9 Check Your Dissonance at the Door 77
10 When All Seems Lost—Bare Your Neck 87
11 Steer Clear of Toxic People 94
SECTION III 12 Easy-to-Use Tools for Achieving Buy-in and Getting Through 109
12 The Impossibility Question 111
13 The Magic Paradox 116
14 The Empathy Jolt 123
15 The Reverse Play, Empathy Jolt #2 132
16 "Do You Believe That?" 138
17 The Power of "Hmmm. . . ." 142
18 The Stipulation Gambit 150
19 From Transaction to Transformation 155
20 Side by Side 163
21 Fill in the Blanks 170
22 Take It All the Way to "No" 176
23 The Power Thank You and Power Apology 180
SECTION IV Fast Fixes for 7 Challenging Situations 187
24 The Team from Hell 189
25 Climbing the Ladder 194
26 The Narcissist at the Table 197
27 Stranger in Town 200
28 The Human Explosion 204
29 Getting Through to Yourself 209
30 Six Degrees of Separation 215
Afterword 221
Index 223
About the Author 231
Keynotes/Workshops 233
