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Full Description
"Once I picked it up I did not put it down until I finished. . . . What Schwed has done is capture fully-in deceptively clean language-the lunacy at the heart of the investment business."
-- From the Foreword by Michael Lewis, Bestselling author of Liar's Poker ". . . one of the funniest books ever written about Wall Street."
-- Jane Bryant Quinn, The Washington Post
"How great to have a reissue of a hilarious classic that proves the more things change the more they stay the same. Only the names have been changed to protect the innocent."
-- Michael Bloomberg
"It's amazing how well Schwed's book is holding up after fifty-five years. About the only thing that's changed on Wall Street is that computers have replaced pencils and graph paper. Otherwise, the basics are the same. The investor's need to believe somebody is matched by the financial advisor's need to make a nice living. If one of them has to be disappointed, it's bound to be the former."
-- John Rothchild, Author, A Fool and His Money, Financial Columnist, Time magazine
Humorous and entertaining, this book exposes the folly and hypocrisy of Wall Street. The title refers to a story about a visitor to New York who admired the yachts of the bankers and brokers. Naively, he asked where all the customers' yachts were? Of course, none of the customers could afford yachts, even though they dutifully followed the advice of their bankers and brokers. Full of wise contrarian advice and offering a true look at the world of investing, in which brokers get rich while their customers go broke, this book continues to open the eyes of investors to the reality of Wall Street.
Contents
Introduction xiii
Jason Zweig
Foreword to the 1995 Edition xxi
Michael Lewis
Introduction to the 1955 Bull Market Edition xxv
I. Introduction—"The Modest Cough of a Minor Poet" 3
The validity of financial predictions
The passion for prophecy
When the bull jumped over the moon
II. Financiers and Seers 23
Big banking—nice work if you can get it
Some assistant tycoons
The fruit on the blossom of thought
Wall street semantics
Chartists
The pay
The difficulties of "earning" money
An art without a muse
A little aptitude test
III. Customers—That Hardy Breed 49
Varieties of customers
How to get customers
Margin
What to do when the dam bursts
Some case histories and a diagnosis
Churning money as a career
IV. Investment Trusts—Promises and Performance 67
Stop making your own mistakes
Where is the catch?
The hell-paving construction company
The trouble with the "best" securities
The $750,000 bird
By way of apology
The magical investment corporation
V. The Short Seller—He of the Black Heart 87
For the defense
A different defense
With and without bears
Bear raiding
VI. Puts, Calls, Straddles, and Gabble 105
What options are (more or less)
In defense of the pure gamble
The catch
VII. The "Good" Old Days and the "Great" Captains 117
The i.q. of a big shot
Speculation on speculation
A brief excursion into probabilities
Down will come baby
"They"
Manipulators
A bowl of nickels
VIII. Investment—Many Questions and a Few Answers 135
Headaches of the wealthy
A little wonderful advice
Price and value—our special market letter
Cash as a long-term investment
Your way of life and the basis book
IX. Reform—Some Yeas and Nays 153
Was it stolen or did you lose it?
Nobody loves a specialist
Horizons and limits of regulation
Inconclusions
About the Author 171
