Full Description
Siblings share a unique relationship: They have known each other longer than anyone else. No matter how close or distant siblings are today, they are part of each other. As adults, they actually are part of two sibling sets. The original siblings are the ones who grew up together and have changed and aged together. The second set is the creation of their childhood perceptions, feelings, hurts, and resentments, as well as idealizations about the original siblings. These siblings, like ghosts, are not visible; they never age. While these siblings mostly lie dormant, when they jump into action, they distort how adults relate to their siblings now.
The "sibling ghosts" have four components--frozen images, crystallized roles, unhealthy loyalty, and sibling transference--each of which has a unique effect on one's adult life, and all of which may be transferred onto important adults in their lives, including spouses and lovers, people at work, and friends. For therapists of all theoretical orientations, Sibling Therapy: The Ghosts from Childhood that Haunt Your Clients' Love and Work is the first book that provides a theoretical framework for working with adult siblings and will be helpful in understanding the influences of clients' ghosts, especially when dealing with intractable problems. While based in systemic theory, the book goes beyond, looking at the specific issues related to being siblings. The ideas and the numerous clinical examples presented here are applicable for family therapists, social workers, psychologists, psychiatrists, counselors, pastoral counselors, and anyone working in a therapeutic position, as well as masters and doctoral students in these fields
Contents
Preface
Acknowledgments
Introduction
Chapter One: The Ghosts: Two Sets of Siblings
Chapter Two: Recognizing Sibling Ghosts in Your Clients' Treatment
Chapter Three: Ghosts' Unconscious Sibling Messages
Chapter Four: Ghosts Transferences in All Relationships, and into the Next Generation
Chapter Five: Ghosts Complicate Dealing with Aging Parents
Chapter Six: Treatment for Those Requesting Sibling Therapy
Chapter Seven: Therapists' Feelings
Chapter Eight: Intensive Weekends Retreats
Chapter Nine: Clinical Tool Box for Exorcising Ghosts
Appendix A: Case Studies
1. The Price of the Being the Favorite Child
2. Unhealthy Loyalty in Individual Therapy
3. Unhealthy Loyalty and Shifting Roles
4. Idealized Frozen Images and Misdirected PTSD
5. Sibling Transference in Friendship
6. Secrets Underlying Sibling Conflict
7. Sibling Messages about Getting Even
8. Healing from Sibling Sexual Abuse
9. QTIP: When to Pull Back
10. Re-Creating Parents Battles
11. Speaking to Each Person Individually While Together
12. Therapist's Use of Voice to Stop Bickering
13. Transgenerational Sibling Issues
14. Weekend Retreat for Sabrina and Siblings (from Ch. 2)
Appendix B: Genograms
Appendix C: Hourglass Pattern of Sibling Relationships
